Goodbye Easter

Dear People of the World who Celebrate Easter,
       As of next year, there will be no more Easter. That's right, no cutesy baskets, no fake grass, no plastic eggs, and NO CHOCOLATE! I am resigning from my job. Don't try to replace because there is no other bunny in the world that can lay eggs. Especially chocolate ones, or plastic ones filled with chocolate. I can lay both, and have suffered major health problems from it.
      Many of you are thinking, that I have one of the easiest jobs in history but have any of you tried to dye over 1,000,000 eggs a year, then hide them all over the world? Not to mention when you go through all trouble only to find that there is someone who has already hidden the eggs for you (looking at you, parents!)? Or you bounce too hard and all the eggs break? Not to mention tripping on your own big feet, which happens often enough when you are a bunny. Besides, It is hard when you have to walk on two legs like you stupid humans do! My little frotnt paws can hardly carry tihe egg basket!
      Why do you need me anyway? You big name companies have already monopolized Easter enough, you don't need a bunny to deliver eggs when everyone buys them from you? Especially when  no one believes in  me except the small children. I thank the small people aof your race who are still faithful to me.
      For you, I will leave small tidbits of chocolates and stuffies. When all of you lose faith or interest in me, than the Easter bunny will be finished. There is no second chances for those who are born from now until then and there will be none for people who suddenly believe.
      Sorry,  but my mind in made up.

THE FINISHED,
Easter Bunny

You Definately Need... all of These!

Boots, The Best, and not just in the West:
By using wordplay, we can change the word 'boots' to 'boost'. And these Must-have shoes are a boost, in confidence and in height. That extra inch on the heel gives you an edge, and everyone around will give you a second, or maybe a third glance. Not to mention the somewhat pointed toes make you feel like you know exactly where your going. Besides, the no traction feature means you can literally glide across your floors. Everyone will notice you and you'll definitely have the most original shoes around. Best of all these shoes are authentic, so you can use them around any farm or ranch and fit in there too. Now conveniently priced at $70!
Comes in :
Cloud White
Bruise Black
Dusty Brown
Chestnut Red

Tux Jacket, For that Formal Occasion:
Jet black with a touch of sheen in the fabric, it entered the winter formal. There was no glove on its arm, but that didn't last. The ladies dressed as colorfully as butterflies soon swarmed around its black splendor, as if it were a drop of nectar.
Glancing down at my own Black coat it seemed to pale in the presence of its onyx glory and I knew that he would be the talk of the formal. Wishing I'd thought to buy something fancier than my fathers old Jacket, I tried to join the colorful swirl of skirts surrounding the Jacket, but was immediately pushed away.

It could be you under that Tux Magnificence. Buy today for $120.

The Bow Tie: For the Slightly Snazzy Society.
Ties are hard to tie. What length should it be? How tight should it be? What color in the world should I use?Is this too formal for tonight? Is it formal enough?
Forget that silly tie. Banish those questions from your mind. Here is your solution. A bow tie. Bows are no longer for girls, the have entered the man-wear category. Formal enough for any occasion, yet never too formal, it manages to catch the attention of anyone your with. Even your half blind Grandma will notice this graceful yet manly accessory.

Buy, and enter the uncomplicated life. $20 for two!

Comes in:
Rippin' Red
Blazen' Blue
Youth full Yellow
Graceful Green

Shopping for Voice, anyone?

Shopping List:

-Gum

-Apples

-Bread

-Pineapple

-Dish soap

-Shampoo

IMPROVED SHOPPING LIST: Stop writing in that stupid cursive. It’s too flowery and pretty. And you take such a long time to write it.

-Gum, Don’t get that boring mint kind. We need some fruity gum, or maybe the spicy cinnamon. And don’t get those little pieces, when I want to chew gum, I want to chew gum! Make sure it’s long lasting; I don’t want to have to get a new piece every 15 minutes. And I hate it when it melts in my car, so get some that’s not too soft.

-Apples, I want Granny Smith apples. They’re bright, refreshing and flavorful. Not to mention, they’re skin doesn’t taste like its covered in wax. The red ones are too plain and too soft. Apples are supposed to be crunchy and fun to eat. Besides, they taste better when they’re dipped in peanut butter. Buy that too.

-Bread, I want soft and fluffy bread, not those kinds that are filled with ‘whole grains’ and nuts. Apples are hard, and Bread is soft, got it? I don’t care if you want me to be healthy, I won’t eat any bread at all if you buy that stuff, and then where will you be?

-Pineapple, Get the ones that are pretty. No half missing or fallen over tops, and make sure the scales are even, and not too hairy. Not to soft if you squeeze it, but not rock hard either. And try to make sure that the core isn’t too big so that we can have big pieces of pineapple.

-Dish Soap, Why bother buying Dish Soap if we have a dishwasher, stupid. But if you must buy it, then your washing dishes, so I don‘t care what you get.

-Shampoo, I want ones that smell nice. And don’t get that two in one stuff, get the actual Shampoo and conditioner, they work better. You know my hairs frizzy, sop get no frizz stuff, will you? And I don’t want princess and superhero stuff; I want the real, adult stuff that works well.

Cooking with Stress

Ingrediants:
-Pinch of No Sleep
-Dash of No Time
-Teaspoon of Misunderstanding
-Cup of Haggling Teachers
-Quart of Chores
-Gallon of Homework

Instructions:
Pour pinch of no sleep into a bowl. Mash in cup of haggleing teachers and gallon of homework. Boil a quart of chores and a teaspoon of misunderstanding.Beat first mixture into boiling pot, add a dash of no time, and serve when just under boiling over. Optional extra ingrediants: Pint of fighting friends, and a Dallop of ruined relationship. Enjoy!

Echoing Voices of Spring

SPRING BREAK

1.        I think my spring break this year was one of the better ones I’ve had. I had a lot to do, and it went by at a good pace, not too slowly and not too fast. I enjoyed a couple sleepovers, hung out with friends and most importantly, packed up my house.

I am moving a little up the valley later this month, so my mom and I made sure all of our stuff was ready to go over the holidays. I don’t know about you, but organizing is what I do best, so making sure everything was sorted, into a box and labeled to go to the right room, was a great occupation for me. My mom and I also spent some time looking at pictures of our new house to figure out where possessions were going to go. We had a lot of fun and I can’t wait to put our dreams and speculations into a reality.

My dad and older brother went to El Salvador over the break too, so when they came back, they had lots of cool stories to enlighten and pictures to share. My brother couldn’t wait to show us the gifts he’d picked out for my little brothers and my dad brought back a hammock for me to hang in my new room.  I can’t wait to relax and read in it!

2. None of your business.

3. Spring break, the sunny, or not so sunny at the time, Okanagan.  Emerald-ring was spending it packing her house, instead of braving the rainy cold weather.  She was working with only help from her Mom, because her Father and brother were building houses in the small country of El Salvador. Surprisingly, the thirteen-year-old enjoyed working with her mother on this project, and their house was ready to change locations as soon as they could move in. Two people packing up a house in Two weeks, stranger things have happened.

4. Yeah we’re having a great time over here. Spring break is in full swing and we’re packing every day.  Believe it or not we’re almost done and it’s just mom and I. Dad and Caleb are in El Salvador and we’ve gotten a couple emails from them and it sounds like their having fun. How are you doing?

5. Well, I spent my spring break working hard at packing up my house. I’m very organized, so it went faster than I thought it would.  My brother went to El Salvador with my dad so it was just Mom and I. We’re almost done because of hard work. Playing Monopoly was fun because I love the strategy of expanding my property without losing money, and persuading people to trade while getting what I won’t and getting the better deal.

Answers:

1.     For Ms. Redfern

2.     For Worst Enemy

3.     For Newspaper

4.     For Grandma

5.     For Boss