Shopping for Voice, anyone?

Shopping List:

-Gum

-Apples

-Bread

-Pineapple

-Dish soap

-Shampoo

IMPROVED SHOPPING LIST: Stop writing in that stupid cursive. It’s too flowery and pretty. And you take such a long time to write it.

-Gum, Don’t get that boring mint kind. We need some fruity gum, or maybe the spicy cinnamon. And don’t get those little pieces, when I want to chew gum, I want to chew gum! Make sure it’s long lasting; I don’t want to have to get a new piece every 15 minutes. And I hate it when it melts in my car, so get some that’s not too soft.

-Apples, I want Granny Smith apples. They’re bright, refreshing and flavorful. Not to mention, they’re skin doesn’t taste like its covered in wax. The red ones are too plain and too soft. Apples are supposed to be crunchy and fun to eat. Besides, they taste better when they’re dipped in peanut butter. Buy that too.

-Bread, I want soft and fluffy bread, not those kinds that are filled with ‘whole grains’ and nuts. Apples are hard, and Bread is soft, got it? I don’t care if you want me to be healthy, I won’t eat any bread at all if you buy that stuff, and then where will you be?

-Pineapple, Get the ones that are pretty. No half missing or fallen over tops, and make sure the scales are even, and not too hairy. Not to soft if you squeeze it, but not rock hard either. And try to make sure that the core isn’t too big so that we can have big pieces of pineapple.

-Dish Soap, Why bother buying Dish Soap if we have a dishwasher, stupid. But if you must buy it, then your washing dishes, so I don‘t care what you get.

-Shampoo, I want ones that smell nice. And don’t get that two in one stuff, get the actual Shampoo and conditioner, they work better. You know my hairs frizzy, sop get no frizz stuff, will you? And I don’t want princess and superhero stuff; I want the real, adult stuff that works well.